I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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