It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
