I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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