i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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