if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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