hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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