I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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