did you get engaged???
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
