it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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