please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
