you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
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I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
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I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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