What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
