i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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