we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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