i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
a search helicopter?!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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