so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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