Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
