Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
