I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
