I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
