i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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