Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I have feelings that need drinking.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
