Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
