I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
