Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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