The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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