I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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