When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize