So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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