so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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