So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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