; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
