We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
