Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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