Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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