is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
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he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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