this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
