im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
