I want to make a zoo with you.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
