i think my tv is drunk
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
