apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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