But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
