So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
