going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
