it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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