I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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