the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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