If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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