peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
