I take back everything I said about communal showers
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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