**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just found puke in my bra..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
