My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
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Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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