why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
