Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize