Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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