You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
