Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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