we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
