Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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