Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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