dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
