im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
